The chutney in the house is a job that has been solely assigned to the husbandman. And for the twelve years that we have been married, he hasn’t disappointed us even once. By us, I mean me, my friends and our respective families. Friends at dinner parties, look forward to his chutneys. I might have slogged on the snacks for hours together, but the chutney (and its maker) in the house steals the show.

A husband, who makes the best chutneys in the world — now, that sounds like a lovely DEAL!

A wife gets talking…

The Indian Trumpet’s Pickle Edition

From the very basic mint and coriander chutney to the ones that need more tweaking like the imli and gur ki chutney, the garlic chutney and the coconut chutney, he has mastered them all. (Reminds me I have to lure him into grinding some awesome hummus, well that is also a chutney, albeit of the foreign kinds, eh?) I, on the other hand, dread the day I have to throw in some mint and coriander leaves with a few spoonfuls of lemon juice, sprinkle some spices and press whizz it all in the mixer.

I break into a sweat if I am asked to make chutney to accompany the simple meal. I begin to look at the clock for the arrival of the husbandman and rehearse, ‘How to broach the topic with him who has come after a gruelling day at work expecting dinner to be served’ in my mind. The next obvious question is what am I so scared of? I mean there really isn’t much to the making of chutney, isn’t it? But my dear friend, only the wearer knows where the shoe fits.

Making chutney, which by the way I can consume by spoonfuls, is not be underestimated. It is precision science. My husband has made me stand alongside him and take notes on this very science…What all to put, how much to put when to put it and the ratios to be used. Even then I have not been able to turn out good chutney. Ever.

Without fail, I have had to throw whatever I make. At times the quantity of ajwain has induced tartness, at others, the leaves haven’t churned out well (do you think the mixer is rallying against me? The question has passed through my mind a million times!) and have long tails of the coriander twig been found trailing in the green concoction. There have also been times when the anardaana seeds were the culprit and other instances when some sneaky lemon seeds, adding a bitter crunch, into the thing without my intentions or efforts.


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So, you see, even though I have almost completely given the pursuit of churning out chutney, I haven’t given up hope that someday I might be able to balance, the sweet and the sour and my own ying and yang!

Keep blowing the Trumpet! This & many more stories await in the pages!